Life Lesson: Be Your Own Best Friend

I had a very heartfelt conversation over Skype the other day with a new friend from NYC. It helped me realize that no matter what you're going through, you are never truly alone. I used to beat myself up internally over the fact that I can never seem to keep long lasting friendships, or that my friends seem to come and go like wildfire. I blamed myself for not being able to hang on to these people and that I just didn't have staying power.

Yes, people change, I change and we all move on. There's a movement in life just like there is a movement in friendships. Even though people in my past have gone (and some still linger in my heart), I am always meeting new people and building new relationships everyday.

In order to love myself unconditionally, I have to be my own cheerleader, my own saviour, and my own best friend. I can't rely on anyone else to fill that best friend void, so if you are feeling or have ever felt what I feel, I suggest you be your own best friend. 

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Life Lesson: Everything is Temporary

A wise person once told me that everything is temporary. This is especially important to note when you are feeling sad, depressed, or down on yourself. Whether you're feeling blue because you got bullied in school, lost a loved one, got rejected from school, fired from your last job, smashed into a car, dumped by your ex-boyfriend etc. Those horrible and what feels like inescapable feelings of suffering will subside. Eventually.

What you have to remember is that no matter how gross or sickly you are feeling, it will go away and soon you will be laughing again. "Shit happens, and then you move on". However, some people take longer to move on than others. I used to think I moved on very fast but that was because I didn't take the time to grieve on my "misfortunes" and I just jumped the gun to get away from the hurt. I soon learned that I was repressing every little ounce of the pain by attempting to move on too fast. I learned that because once something or someone "triggered" me, I wept like a thousand babies without their mothers. I was drowning in my own self pity.

That is no way to live...do not be a prisoner to your own feelings of self doubt, self pity, and self hatred. Yes, it's true that no one else cares, but because we're our own worst critics, once it rains, it just keeps pouring (this I know is true). But guess what? Even the pouring rain will stop. Once you understand this simple concept of how everything is temporary, you will be more than OK.

Life Lesson: Don't Care About What Others Think

I try to stay away from blogging anything too personal, but if I can help inspire others and shed new light then why not? I'm sure I'm not the first and only person who has these thoughts, so there's no harm to myself or my privacy. I am back home at my mom's and the second thing I had to do (first being- spending quality time with my sister <3) was to tear open my old diary.

Reflection is so powerful. How can anybody grow if they don't reflect on anything? This is why I kept/keep a diary, even though I barely write in it anymore. I am literally pulling a page from it though from my past and I'm willing to share one of my reflections.

"In order to be truly happy and content, one must live and do things for oneself without fear or judgement from others. When I do things for myself without expecting anyone's approval or praise, I am a lot more at peace with myself. When I start to wander off about what does this person think, will anyone like...did anyone notice etc....it's a negative spiral. Nothing good comes out of thinking that way! I have to literally, constantly remind myself that I should NOT care about what others think. Everytime when I catch myself thinking about what other people may think I tell myself to SHUT UP. And it works.
This is my life and I am going to live it however I want to and I am not living to impress others or to conform to what is regarded as "normal", or that I need to be in a certain phase by a certain age. And for people who do actually judge based upon those things, apparently they are not living free from the demands of society, or whatever.
Believe it or not, it took me a lot of "failures" and falling down with my head hung low to finally build myself up again as a whole new being.
I know that I am not defined by what I consider my "failures" or "successes". I am defined by how I treat others, how I express myself, what I value and believe in...
I am looking forward to living the rest of my life for ME and trying to find passion and the beautiful things in this world".

As should you, whoever who is reading this.